Opinion: Making the case for unsolicited email

Opinion: Making the case for unsolicited email

Okay, so I know spam is the scourge of cyberspace, the villain of your inbox, responsible for lost time, numerous net nasties, probably global warming, along with the daft haircut I got last week, too. Nevertheless, maybe there’s something to be said for unsolicited e-stuff (some of it, anyway).

Now, before you think my home village has found itself another idiot, let me explain.

The other day I was out for my evening jog when I spotted one of these huge SUV thingys edging its way in a stop-start fashion along the side of the road. Each time it stopped, out hopped a young spotty youth with a handful of leaflets and flyers, who proceeded to stuff the paperwork in the nearest letterbox, then hop back in the vehicle. The SUV then drove all of 10 metres to the next letterbox and, yep you guessed it, out hopped the kid – complete with a fresh batch of paperwork – who deposited it as before… and so it went on.

As I passed, I saw not one but two adults were in the front seats.

So, here’s the thing – junkmail being delivered by…

Two lazy buggers …

In a gas-guzzling vehicle that’s ridiculously OTT for the not-so-difficult suburban terrain around this leafy Auckland suburb. (Question: would the fuel cost more than they get paid for the delivery?)

Delivering a whole lot of paper…

That the recipients haven’t asked for…

Haven’t paid for…

More than likely won’t read…

Which means they probably would prefer they didn’t get it clogging up their letterbox…

Or pushing out the newspaper (that they actually paid for and wanted) along with the post to the ground…

Only for it all to get wet and soggy when the rain comes…

And that’s if it all doesn’t get blown away and end up blocking the stormwater drains.

OK, I won’t go on. I’m sure you get my drift.

Do you want this… or such junkmail sent by email; whose simple elimination under the ‘delete’ button wouldn’t involve child labour, the burning of fossil fuel in a V8 (as opposed to a smidgen of electricity) and the destruction of a small forest somewhere near Taupo?

Just a thought.

Talking of something I didn’t ask for coming pinging into my inbox, try this… it’s brilliant. “How smart is your right foot?” asks the subject line. See what happens when you try the following:

1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number ‘6’ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

“And there’s nothing you can do about it! We know how stupid it is but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so,” continues the email, as if baiting us to try again.

Oh no, you didn’t…

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